Take a close look at that single word. It’s two words joined as one by a dash. It is therefore imperative to say that for a proper understanding of the word self-coaching we need an understanding of the two words.
Self: According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, the self is defined as belonging to oneself, the entire person of an individual, the union of elements (such as body, emotions, thoughts, and sensations) that constitute the individuality and identity of a person.
Coaching: Zeuss and Skiffington defined coaching as a dialogue between a coach who is equipped with the required skills and a coachee by interacting in a dynamic exchange to achieve a goal(s), which enhances the coachee’s performance and move the coachee forward to greater success.
Introspection or internal perception is a psychological process in which a person examines his or her own conscious experience as objectively as possible which provides privileged access to one’s own mental state. In other words, introspection helps to self reflect and know oneself. If one is capable of introspection, then they are capable of SELF-COACHING.
Self-coaching is the ability to delve deep into one’s own inner wisdom and experiences to determine what’s best for one. If one is ready to guide his or her own growth and transition, then self-coaching is for them. It is unfortunate that having a life coach is expensive, embracing self-coaching is a viable option. Thus, self-coaching on a financial perspective is when you employ the techniques of a professional or a counselor to help yourself change your life or handle a problem with the aim of saving money.
According to the statistics compiled by Tom Casano at www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com about the value of life coaching and the outcome showed that;
- 80% of respondents reported an improvement in self-confidence
- 73% reported an improvement in their relationships
- 72% improved their communication skills
- 67% improved their work-life balance
- 70% improved their work performance
- 61% improved their business management
- 57% improved their time management
- 51% improved their team effectiveness
If this statistic is used to drive a decision to self-coach, I’d say it’s time for you to develop your coaching potential and be the master of your sail.
STEP-BY-STEP PROCESS OF SELF-COACHING
Self-coaching is a self-directed activity that is not an easy journey to undertake but with a step-by-step guide, one can start self-coaching.
l Prepare a journal to map your progress
Keeping records is important especially when it comes to doing things by yourself. So, get a record book to keep your progress and set your goals. “What do I want to achieve?”
l Self-knowledge to attain self-awareness
In every and any doing, a strong foundation is a great way to build a standing empire and not a leaning empire. To begin self-coaching, one needs self-knowledge to be self-aware. The Japanese are aware of three power; the power of the sword, of the jewel, and of the mirror; each symbolizing something. The sword symbolizes the power of weapons, the jewel symbolizes the power of money and the mirror symbolizes the power of SELF-KNOWLEDGE and is the most treasured of all three. Self-knowledge comes from being able to identify your strength and weaknesses, where you’re good and bad, where you need amendment. Self-knowledge is a work of introspection which bears self-awareness. With self-awareness, two people exist in you. The old you and the new you. The old you is with faults, the new you has recognized the faults, learned from it and will be the MASTER that would coach the old you to be better and later unite as one perfect soul. In other words, the inner you with the knowledge of everything about you becomes the Coach and the outer you become the Coachee.
l Setting a Questionnaire to be Answered
When introspection is done and you are able to realize the two different individuals that reside in you, the inner you (coach) will go ahead to set a questionnaire to help the outer you identify why, where and when it requires the inner coach. A set of questions you can ask yourself are extracted from Joseph Luciani’s work. They are as follows and you can choose either that the statement is either (T)rue or (F)alse in your experience:
Am I not as happy as other people? T/F
Am I often moody and/or depressed? T/F
Do I worry a lot? T/F
Am I often too negative? T/F
Is life is a constant struggle? T/F
Am I a great procrastinator? T/F
Do I have willpower? T/F
Am I lazy? T/F
The questionnaire captures most of what disturbs the mind of man and hinders him from achieving success. Giving honest answers to the questions will aid progress in your self-coaching journey.
l Clean Your Shelf
The mind is a complex tool and can make anything that constantly comes it’s way a priority. When your inability especially floods the mind, the soul, unfortunately, becomes incapable of destroying the temple of the mind. What you need to do is do a deep dump and clear all negative thoughts in the mind.
l Create an Outcome Chart
Self-coaching requires one to use life coaches lessons, experience, and materials to achieve your goal. Lessons from the NLP tell of how wonderfully helpful the outcome chart is. So, to self-coach, you need an outcome chart. The outcome chart provides a process for you to raise the likelihood of attaining your outcome by testing it from different areas and by identifying resources you have or need, to reach your results. You should state your outcome in positive terms and based on what you want to see happen and not what you want to avoid in life. Keep it positive! See these outcome always in the most positive results and desires.
It should be taken in the following context;
- Why do I desire this positive outcome?
- What values does it serve my goals and future?
Ø What is your action plan?
l Self-Questioning Cycles
What are Self-Questions? A Self-question is one posed and answered by you. For any self-help exercise to be helpful, it must be based on one to be truthful with responses. Otherwise, any false belief that arises from making any wrong decision in life will only perpetuate an erroneous cycle – That is NOT what most of us desire. Therefore, these thoughts that are toxic, negative or dysfunctional need to be eliminated before they sabotage and hinder your progress.
Do you have control over the situation? If yes, could and did you do anything about it? If no, then why WORRY?
l Be accountable through an action plan
Preparing your action plan includes setting your motivating and stretching goals. Ensure there is a reward attached to it for reaching a set goal. Remember to set a deadline to meet all your goals until they are all met.
l On your mark, set, COACH
Hurray, you’re ready to be the captain of your Ship-of-Life. But you need to remember that your thoughts, behavior and actions need to be laser-focused and consistent to the goals you desire. You can fail, but failure is only if you give up. If you desire to be happy and thus process can get you there why would you not think it is not worth the sweat, tears, discomfort to keep practicing to succeed? Fall off and get up! Repeat until you succeed – I say.
Self-coaching is not easy. Well, if it were easy, everyone would be self-coaching. But if this self-coaching genius is unlocked, the star is not your reach but your starting point. Anything you set your mind to; you can achieve – If you desire it enough.
TARGET AREAS OF SELF-COACHING
Individuals, business owners, and professionals require self-coaching. Individuals need self-coaching in their marriage, private life, workplace, education and relationship with people around them. It helps them become better persons in all these areas of their lives. Harnessing self-coaching gives unlimited access to the mind and helps a person reach his greatest potential. Company owners require self-coaching to help them become better employers. Many professionals are trying to get ahead either by starting their own company or working their way up in the organization chain, they need to know that the real trick isn’t actually ‘getting’ anywhere, it is consistently staying ahead of others and what another way to unlock this potential to stay ahead than SELF-COACHING.
BENEFITS OF SELF-COACHING
Self-coaching has its own benefits too. Here are some of its benefits;
l One of the benefits of self-coaching is that you save money and also gain confidence seeing that you can achieve changes by yourself. In other words, self-coaching is FREE.
l Self-coaching enhances confidence, boosts your self-esteem, enhances clarity, increases accountability, boosts creativity and improves critical thinking.
l As self-coaching eventually becomes an automatic response to challenges in one’s life, it can lead to increased success.
l Self-coaching saves time since you are not depending on anyone.
l It helps you maintain total control of your success.
IMPORTANCE OF SELF-COACHING
There are many reasons individuals need to incorporate self-coaching into their lifestyle in today’s stressful world. Here are a few reasons:
l Self-coaching equips you to finally discover yourself and with this, you can become whatever you want to be.
l Self-coaching helps to implement changes in one’s life and business to boost success.
l It gives you a self-coaching mindset that helps you to become a better mentor to people around you.
l It develops and improves your self-awareness.
l Self-coaching gives self-motivation.
I once heard of an undergraduate student in a prominent university having issues with making time to study for all his courses due to lack of inspiration to attend lectures. He got addicted to staying in bed all the time. He loved what he studies but not getting the grades he deserved killed his vibe for attending the lecture. It affected his grades badly and his attention was called to it by his level adviser. He went home and decided to “help himself study harder and get good grades.” Self-coaching was an option that perfectly aligned with his personal needs and filled the gap to better understanding. Now, this student came out being the best graduating student in his group and was made the valedictorian. Delivering a heartwarming speech on self-coaching, it’s importance through practice and implementation when things seem impossible. As songwriter and rapper Kendric Lamar says “If you need a hero, look in the mirror. There goes your hero”.
Ultimately, self-coaching is a powerful tool that you can use rely on to help you be the best version of yourself, identifying where the gaps are and what are your best strategies to reach your goals. In the end, understanding the process and how to best implement changes that suit your issues are the keys the greatest reward from self-coaching methods. Whether in your relationship, career or other facets it will bring you a well-rounded lifestyle and greater fulfillment, freedom, and happiness for a lifetime.