To create a better life and achieve all those goals you desire, you must first focus on your personal growth and what makes you happy. Especially in a world that is continuously changing in innovative ways you too need to create a flow to adapt. Like Bruce Lee once said, you must “Be like water” be flexible in all you do to truly have a fulfilling life with less stress or obstacles.
To say you desire to have a great life is far removed from what is required to have it. Sitting on the couch every day or procrastinating will not bring you true happiness in the end. Those who create successful lives are not found in the “Comfort Zones”, but forging forward outside of them to pursue dreams and soar over others who are happy to stay floating through life.
For you to succeed beyond the ordinary, you must take the necessary steps and maximize your potential by first looking at yourself honestly – Who are you anyway? This very important question begins the process of looking within – Inner Introspection. First, examining on a conscious level your thoughts and feelings of what makes you the person you see in the mirror. In psychology this process of introspection relies on your observation of one’s mental state, while in spiritual context it refers to examination of one’s inner desires – what your soul needs in this life. Once you are comfortable with this exploration, then it’s time to apply the steps to align with these desires.
What is Self-Coaching vs. Life Coaching
The International Coach Federation (ICF), defines coaching as partnering with teams in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential, which is particularly important in today’s uncertain and complex environment.
For many, who may desire a personal, spiritual or professional coach is simply not financially possible and this leaves many looking for another option. Fortunately, applying self-coaching principles is the most viable solution to overcoming personal, or professional challenges in their world.
Self-Coaching is basically a self-directed activity that enable you to move forward with goals by creating plans using actions and methods that you implement successfully. New York Times Best Seller, Martha Beth stated “We each have the ability to learn wisdom, and as we learn wisdom, we become our own counselor, and we start using experience as our teacher. And then we’re home free.”
Self-Coaching’s core principle lies in the basic premise that there is no one better than yourself to create what you desire. You are not only the expert in your own life, but you are the one who sees your own vision and will do the creative work and find resources to see it through. Given the tools you can elicit your own self-discovered solutions to your own problems. More and more people are finding that their increased efforts to move from problem to solutions using Self-Coaching Skills, tools and methods are effective ways to build their personal effective tool kit.
Advantages of Self-Coaching
- Free for You – You can’t beat that price – Right? Overall in life, you get out what you put in and this is no exception. It applies to getting the right help of a personal or professional coach, it’s still up to you to do the work and get results. So, if you are ready, focused, driven and have the right self-discipline to successfully implement Self Coaching arsenal to your life then you will reap the rewards it will share with you. By using the methods, a life coach would use with you and sticking with such a system will make a ton of sense in the long run. If you look at the average hourly price of a life coach you will see that your laser-focused, consistent discipline to be successful creates a win-win with both cost and time.
- Building “I Can” Muscle – In addition, you are cultivating your inner coach by building the self-awareness and cored self-reflection that will help you get un-stuck with many problems you’ll encounter in your life. While maintaining a clear “Take-Charge” attitude which not only boost self-confidence but also increases clarity, creativity, accountability, problem-solving and critical thinking skills which aren’t shabby.
- Faster You “Zap” Your Problems – The more you engage in solving your own problems the stronger your convictions, the faster the results and the more seamless your process becomes. There is no surprise since practice makes perfect and you are knee deep in “Solving, Destroying and Deleting” all your obstacles while decreasing the stress that comes with them.
Ultimately, saving money and time will pay off in dividend since it will become a healthy habit both within yourself and aiding others. However, do note: Self-Coaching, should not be considered replacing future need or value of having a coach in your life. A qualified coach, has additional benefits that you can’t always see the “Blind spots” that will occasional show up in your world. Sometimes you need another person to bounce your ideas off and give you an insightful guide that you may not see. Especially with the different stages of your life which is new and unexplored. Your personal experiences, biases and filters may not be enough to see things as a whole or differently. The more honest you become with your goals and abilities (areas of deficit) is the easier it is to know when your life needs a “Booster Push” from a qualified professional who will see the hiccups you are experiencing. You can always take charge when you see it clearly and can move forward more easily with financial hinderance.
To help you get started, here is a quick and easy step-by-step process that will support you to effectively start self-coaching yourself to success:
- Is Coaching Right for You? Questionnaire – Complete this complimentary form to see if you are ready to take the plunge https://www.optimalthinking.com/are-you-coachable-quiz/ Once completed you can now determine if your current quality of life is ready for a Self-Coaching make-over. Is it time? If yes, let’s move on to the next activities…
- Everything and The Kitchen Sink/Use A Coaching Balance Wheel: There is so much going on in our complex mind and life at any given time, all these concerns, ideas and problems swirling around in our head all at once. So, here’s where dumping it all out like the heavy bags you bring to work is a good thing. The benefit, like using a journal, is not only highly advised but, especially with self-coaching. Let everything out by taking notes of all the just what is important and what isn’t. What is it that you desire and things that take up space and importance may need to be deleted or re-prioritized? The Coaching Wheel/Wheel of Life, when completed, will help you identify areas in your life that warrant improvements and greater understanding.
- Create an Outcome Chart to Your Life – Now that you have dissected your areas and see where there’s need improvement using the tools above, you are ready to move on to the next fun stage which is creating an Outcome Frame, an NPL model. Basically, the outcome frame is actually an orientation, a way of perceiving the experience as a set of choices. Rather than addressing the issue of why a problem exists, it organizes experience around what is wanted, and how it is possible to achieve it. Basically, if possible, for others, it’s possible for me too.
Here’s that give you more relevant questions and how best to frame the best outcome.
- Questions for your Limiting Beliefs – Many individuals do not understand how negative attitudes and thoughts impacts outcome. First, these negative, toxic roots are found in the Land of “I Can’t!” “I Won’t”, or similar negative and destructive mind-set. A limiting belief is a false thought that a person holds to be true and acquires from making incorrect conclusion about something in their life. A faulty premise springs faultier conclusion which spreads and grows like weeds in the garden. Building an environment of self-sabotage, stress and chaos. These thoughts beget others and soon like a fault line crumbles the land around it. You implode!
When you become clear of what’s important in your world the positive “Self-Talk” replaces these gremlins and soon the right self-questions will come to the rescue. Self-questions help you to review and scrutinize your own motives or behaviors. Breaking cycles that no longer serve your purpose or growth. The use of Self-Questioning initiates examinations of present beliefs and actions. What we take to replace those that no longer serves our needs is the part of the process. With the relevant practice and self-discipline, you can stop these selfish gremlins in their tracks.
Pay close attention to the internal dialogue you have daily. Are you expressing thoughts of guilt by making extreme states that are harsh “Put Downs” and self-criticizing, by holding yourself responsible for every negative event? By paying close attention to your internal dialogue, you can replace these energy zappers with productive motives and behaviors that breathes new life into possibilities. With a clearer understanding it becomes easier to spot and replace. Negative “Self-Talk” is increased with low self-esteem, values or lack of purpose.
There are several types of limiting beliefs that swirls around in our thoughts such as generalizations, mental filters, emotional reasoning, distortions, magnifications, labelling, downplaying the positives, etc. You can always challenge these beliefs by asking some of the questions below:
- Is this belief always true?
- Am I making assumptions?
- Is my belief based on limited or incomplete information?
- What proof/evidence is there to support my belief or negate it?
- What other factors do I need to take into consideration?
- What would someone I trust think of my conclusion?
- Who says things should be this way?
- How else might I view this situation?
- Am I accepting responsibility for something which is not my fault, or within my control?
- What am I not seeing or acknowledging?
- How else can I view the situation?
- What could be a more enabling belief?
How else can you change the inner-dialogue and view? By making yourself the number one priority in all you do. Become more kind, happy and healthier version of you. Start with the end in mind. What are you desiring next and how will it make you feel? This comes through a practice of “Creative Visualization” and using the 7 Habit of Effective People by Stephen Covey, using the second idea “Begin with The End in Mind.”
- You Are Now Accountable for Everything – Let’s Develop an Action Plan
You’ve done the hardest part above, now let’s take what we know to prepare your action plan to make it happen. To ensure your goals are good enough to keep you motivated and keep you growing stronger – Let’s give it a one-two punch! You can create goals that keeps you fired up with passion.
By using the S.M.A.R.T goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-based), you will see results because you are creating a solid foundation. In order to achieve your goals, you need to put a tickler list of what you need to-do daily to weekly to move it closer to the result. As you dedicate yourself to this process, you can easily set yours to maximize five goals initially.
Next, map out the specific individual steps for achieving the goal. Each step must have a deadline to be effectively meet your objective. Your accountability and commitment to each and every deadline you set. Remember the creative visualization techniques we mentioned earlier (You are experiencing having it already) will keep you motivated to making it real.
The process is on its way, but you’ll need to give yourself a reward (breaks up the stress of the process) and for each step you’ve completed – spurs you on. So, what will you use to celebrate these milestones? It will give you a sense of purpose and the extra push to get over the Finish Line.
- You Got This! The Self-Coach is in The Building!
Wow! You are finally ready to show Who is Boss of this Self-Coaching Thang… Like anything in life, it’s not an easy journey, but I can assure you it is doable and worthwhile. The more you practice, research and have the patience to see it through the more results you will get. The secret to its success lies in how motivated you are to see it through. Just knowing that any failure is Success Turned Inside Out! Keep getting back on the Self-Coaching Horse and ride to the finish line. Any and all setbacks whether with self-coaching or life in general is inevitable, but if you view them as positive to learning and growth- You are ahead of the game. Ultimately, your success will depend on YOU and how you implement what you are learning daily. When the funds and time is right getting the extra help from an external coach or finding someone to hold you accountable is always a wise choice.
Oh! One more thing – You are looking good out there – Now go make it happen.
Feel free to share your story, get more helpful tips or just say “Hello” to the Ballsy Coach! There will be more updates and opportunities to get involved upcoming events, webinars, etc. So, stay tuned…